Westminster could close for 20 years for refurb. Hurrah, says Rab McNeil

Yonder Parliament at Westminster could close for 20 years for refurbishment. That was the best case scenario. The worst was that it would take 12 years. Though the news sparked rioting in several rural areas, it could be an opportunity to set up a less confrontational chamber elsewhere. Hope not.

Bam’s dram An alcohol-free ‘Scotch’ made in Mexico is to go on sale in the UK. Florida-based manufacturers Arkay also hope to set up a bottling plant for their “Glasgow-style” beverage in France. The makers aim to recreate the experience of “feeling good … but without the alcohol”. Anecdotal science suggests this possibility is a myth.

Eh aye, eh?

Chinese prosecutors have developed an artificial intelligence system that can – allegedly, M’lud – charge people with crimes at a 97 per cent accuracy rate. Bit worrying when many crimes involve “dissent”. British prosecutors, meanwhile, are hoping to develop an AI system that fails to charge criminals, thus saving them the bother.

Saying cheese

Adults are being encouraged to smile while eating veg in front of their children. The appalling conceit is supposed to kid the kids into thinking that eating greens is pleasurable. Guinea pigs in the experiment at Aston University had to eat raw broccoli. Raw broccoli has been banned in Scotland since 2004 under the Minging Foods Act.

Space oddity

The usual suspects online believe that a mysterious cube on the Moon is somebody’s hoose. One leading intellectual even suspected it could be a McDonald’s. It is, of course, a boulder. That’s all there is on the Moon: a scattering of boulders. No wonder the folk there got up and left.


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