Herald Diary: Who remembers the Glasgow pub The Dirty Duchess – named after the Duchess of Argyll?

BROADCASTER Jeremy Vine received an auto-warning about his use of robust language on the social media site Twitter, after he wrote the word sh**e.

Twitter’s reaction surprised Jeremy, who says it suggests, “that no part of the company is Glasgow-based.”

Ferry long time

A FRIEND of Ken McLean from Denny received a Lego-type model of the CalMac ferry MV Loch Seaforth for Christmas.

“I suspect it’ll still be a work in progress for several Christmases to come,” chuckles Ken.

Gone to pot

THESE are ‘adult’ times we are living through. Reader Michael Deeming says: “My 16-year-old son persuaded me to watch the Netflix show Sex Education with him. Despite the risqué title, he assured me it was a typical teenage drama series, though it turned out to be a mixture of Grange Hill and Debbie Does Dallas.”

Our outraged reader adds: “Bring back Bill and Ben The Flowerpot Men. They may have appeared on TV in skimpy attire, but at least they had their modesty well-hidden behind earthenware.”

Duchess dissed

MORE goggle-box ogling. The BBC have been broadcasting the lavish period drama, A Very British Scandal, which tells the torrid true tale of the Duchess of Argyll, a lady whose amorous adventures make Netflix’s Sex Education seem as wholesome as a Teletubbies episode.

The Duchess, or Margaret Campbell as she was originally known, became so notorious in the 1960s that there is even a Glasgow pub named after her – The Dirty Duchess.

Broadcaster Andrew Neil was impressed by the BBC series about her life. Well… sort of.

“Beautifully produced,” he says approvingly, before undermining his gold star review by adding that it’s about: “Upper class, self-entitled, obsessed products of the social system with combined IQ in single figures who never worked a day in their lives, plus no redeeming social value whatsoever.”


Doubts about sprouts

CULINARY minded reader Kenny Hannah was disappointed when his wife offered him scraps of turkey and Brussels sprouts for lunch on Monday.

“I thought we had the leftovers from Christmas dinner yesterday,” he grumbled.

“We did,” she replied. “This is the leftovers from the leftovers.”

Butter ban

CONCERNED reader John Delaney from Lochwinnoch read online that the AGM for Lurpak shareholders has been cancelled due to Covid. “There were fears it would become a super spreader event,” he says.

Clinical calamity

WE end today’s Diary ditherings with a daffy joke of the doctor variety, provided by reader Oliver Carr:

Doctor: I think you may be suffering from hypochondria.

Patient (aghast): Oh, no – not that as well!

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